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  • Writer's pictureWJ King


I have never been accused of being a ‘deep thinker’; it really doesn’t come to mind that I’ve been charged with thinking at any particular level. There are days however, I exceed my personal limit of twenty four beers and my thinking and self discovery absolutely explodes. The old saw is about a butterfly flapping their wings and causing a tsunami three thousand miles away. I think in more immediate terms. “What if I make a left turn at the next block instead of the usual right?” What hangs in the balance, when I choose one of two women to go out with?” Would one woman lead me to being married and having a family? And what if the other has designs on my head and thought it would go nicely with the others in her pantry.

We are faced with doors to enter or not, everyday, most usually without paying any attention and with no thought to consequences. If we did, we’d all be basket cases and never leave the asylum. This is not to say we are simply a leaf in the wind, to be blown through a real or metaphorical doorway sans any responsibility. Faced with two people to spend the evening with a great degree of decision making expertise is handy. A woman who is an R.N. who works at the local hospital might be a better gamble than the motorcycle chick who grabs you by the crotch, Just to see if you’ll do. Upon passing muster, she follows up with an esophageal scrape with her tongue. Finally satisfied, you’re the one, she announces her and her gang, who are draped across two booths, are sticking up the party store across the street after this beer and are you up for some fun. You try to regather but by now the nurse has left with the short order cook and you can only win the biker chick gang leader by turning to a life of crime. “Anyone, anyone. That’s correct, you move on to another tavern.”

The secret to life is to not get overly involved in it but to still establish your position as a participant. If another door opens subsequent to the first one closing with any degree of regularity you are likely in prison and your primary decisions will be made for you.

After marching faithfully through single bars for years on end and your time in purgatory or what you think is purgatory, is nearing an end, you will finally, “see the light.” Seeing the light usually coincides with you becoming too damn tired to ‘play the game’ anymore. When an attractive woman crosses her legs and treats you to a Sharon Stone moment and your initial thought is, how many exits are in this place? You’ve arrived.

Now flip those tassels over and seize the world graduates.


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