If I have learned nothing else in the last couple months or so, it’s that I’m surrounded by idiots. Not your garden variety imbeciles but the type so extreme, you put them on the porch to show them off. The political wars of dumb versus dumber rage on. Veracity doesn’t simply take a back seat in the heated exchanges but is stuffed in the trunk like a corpse in a button man’s car. In the political universe of verbiage, words like truth, sincerity and fairplay teeter on the brink of extinction. Why? Because either side of this turf war has abused the sanctity of these tenets, to the point of clubbing them into obsolescence. I did not say they were no longer used and/or abused, rather their meaning dissolved. The art of prevarication has journeyed from unsavory and distasteful to eloquent and creative and plateaued at meaningless drivel and paragraph filler. Embraced by virtually all political aficionados, communicable disease experts, both groups including everyone with a laptop or I-phone accessing social media.
The liar’s mantra, ‘never tell the truth when a good lie’ll do,’ has never been more significant. There are those who will fasten themselves to anything resembling a rising star, regardless of the star’s itinerary, next stop, public shit house, “I’m in.” To belong, is paramount to this particular species of liar. If you will pardon the pun, loud, trumps accuracy and if we are marching headlong into the lion’s mouth, all the better. Nothing’s permanent. There are no consequences. We’re in a video game, that’s in a video game, cleverly hidden in another video game. We’re pals and we’re all goin’ together. Where are we going? No one knows, it’s not real. This description applies to either side of the coin. Not yet recruited, these individuals emit a dull purplish hue but default to a blinding, never say die red or blue, upon acceptance and/or assignment.
For many of our resident liars, this is all for sport. If one leaves an opponent talking to himself, five points are awarded. Conniptions, slammed laptops and so forth and so on, increase your score. Advanced liars have been known to influence opponents to the point of them tragically throwing themselves from their computer chair’s onto the carpet. I agree, ghastly isn’t it? Excuse me whilst I catch my breath. A formidable replacement for the physically exhausting game of baseball, social media. As a side note:Scientists suggest leg muscles in children should be necessary for five to six more generations before atrophization will set in.
Finally, you needn’t be an accomplished liar to employ the art as a stress reliever. Can’t sleep? Don’t feel like reading a book? Post that your candidate’s rival has been caught in bed with either a live boy or a dead girl. Put your phone on the charger and take yourself out to dinner.