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  • Writer's pictureWJ King


I attended a funeral last week as sixty-nine year old people often do. I privately enjoyed the prohibition on funerals or limited attendance thereof during the onslaught of covid. But alas, life and death go on, sometimes hand in hand. The angels in charge of either, hold no animus toward the other. It's really only a matter of getting ‘em in and getting ‘em out and if humans attach an emotion or two during the interim, that’s on them. I’m only speaking of two facets of the big scheme which intermingle with countless others so human life is not so cut and dry. But it is.

You’re no doubt aware of guardian angels who watch over us. Seemingly, some treat us like convicts and are satisfied if we’re there when they take count at the close of ‘business‘. How else could you explain some of the stupid things we do or say. Picture if you will, angels at a card table on a smoked-filled cloud, chewing on cigars and playing poker:”My guy’s gettin’ drunked up with his pals and they’re thinkin’ how easy it would be to rob the liquor store across town.” One hour later:”Oh man, my idiot’s in jail for tryin’ to rob that liquor store.” An older angel scolds him and asks why he didn’t intervene sooner. “What, hey I was holdin’ trip Jacks over here. Am I right, am I right?” He looks around the table for support of which he gets none. A giant hand appears and ‘thunks’ him on the forehead, knocking him off his chair. “Right God, I’ve got this,” and the angel rushes off to earth.

Oftentimes bad things happen as part of a learning process but not always. Have you ever told a lie so huge it even brings tears to your eyes. The only thing bigger is the grin on your face upon triumphantly leaving the room. Immediately slipping and falling down the flight of stairs was no accident. The two noises you heard at the bottom of the stairs were your head hitting the floor and the guffaw of your guardian angel.

A favorite practical joke that’s been around for thousands of years is that when the person ceases to be amongst the living and is not made aware of it. They suffer or experience whatever it is that cancelled their ticket and then seemingly go on, apparently no worse for wear. S/he thinks no one is paying attention to them. When this situation becomes hilarious is...wait, wait I’ve gotta set my beer down…wiping tears of laughter from his face when they go to the funeral/wake and see themselves in the casket and realize they’re among the dearly departed. Many an angel has fallen off a cloud laughing hysterically when it gets to this part. This was the case when Mark Twain expired. God admonished the angel, however, the angel successfully argued, Mark Twain was no longer among the living at the time and was therefore fair game. God conceded that in retrospect Twain had enjoyed the joke as well.


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